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The top 213 things Zimbu was not allowed to do at convergys

Zimbu

Feb 18, 2005, 6:41 AM
hey, well I'm a former AWS/CING rep out of Edmonton was recently terminated just under a month ago, for those who are in Edmonton i will not let who know my actual name on this forum, but the nicknames zimbu, switchy, or spaz are big hints. well to let everyone know i have quickly regained sanity, or what little i had left before i even started at that hell hole, and keeping with the top 10 list i have decided to make my own, as i don't know any other way to contact the Edmonton floor i will use this in hopes it will spread thru my former center as well other centers, startec, west, and actual AWS/Cing centers like wildfire like to start off by saying farewell to my former co workers, and GOOD BYE SKELETOR THE TL. It's not exactly original...
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Zimbu

Feb 18, 2005, 6:42 AM
72. Don't concoct humorous troubleshooting procedures (ie "Spin anti-clockwise six times to prime the APU, then initiate turbine restart procedures," in the context of cell phone service) to derive entertainment from outright technopeasants.

73. I am not allowed to warp the fragile minds of new hires.

74. For the love of god, don't talk to Americans about politics, especially if they want to.

75. When customers hang up angry, don't call back to ask nonchalantly, "We seem to have been disconnected. Was there anything else I could help you with?"

76. I do not have the authority to initiate jihad.

77. Not allowed to re-enact or invent whole episodes of 'The Three Stooges', either single-handedly, or with the assistance of ot...
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Snatchface

Feb 18, 2005, 11:33 AM
i work @ a Convergys and i gonna have to try some of that stuff, it sounds fun 😁
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Correction

Feb 18, 2005, 12:59 PM
Dude!! I so know you! Keeping with the no names thing I used to be on the same team as that woman you kept borrowing the lighters from. (And not returning) 🤣

What the hell did you get fired for?? (real reason) I only figured out who you are by that 8 ball record. I remember you telling me about it.
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Zimbu

Feb 18, 2005, 3:48 PM
well the reason for my termination was bc i had a nasty stomach flu, not doing adherance forms when leaving cube, got on cap 3 for "call avoidance" where along with doing adherance forms i had to be put back into kindergarden and ask skeletor if i had permission to go sh!t or puke my guts out, seeing how i was in trouble for sick days and unexcused absences , its impossible to talk to a tl as we all know, i decided to not ask tl, and just GO... got draggen into hr for a 5 min meetig where i got canned
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shadowmage

Mar 3, 2005, 12:07 AM
Awsome,just groovy grand,I love it.I'm in 3g care in Halifax and I gotta tell ya,you made my night a lot more pleasent this evening,but wheres the rest of the list?
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Zimbu

Mar 3, 2005, 1:36 AM
time is currently birng spent selling for telus
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not_in_halifax

Mar 3, 2005, 3:12 PM
You might want to ask Jon_Webb because he is the one who originally wrote the list and posted it on another forum. Zimbu just copy and pasted it.
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Zimbu

Feb 18, 2005, 3:49 PM
tell her i say hi by the way
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Correction

Feb 18, 2005, 4:35 PM
Will do! I'll talk to her on my lunch. Who the hell was your TL?? Cause that really sucks!
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Zimbu

Feb 18, 2005, 10:50 PM
just so that my identity dosent get completly linked out to the public i wont say my tls true name, will say he looked like a cross between harry potters "Dobby", and a skeleton
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inACW

Feb 20, 2005, 12:01 PM
rofl
I think I know who you mean.
*shudder*
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Zimbu

Feb 18, 2005, 4:09 PM
by the way number 100 should read

"100. When the project's death spiral picks up speed, I should not throw up my hands and shout 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' "
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ccanady

Feb 18, 2005, 1:32 PM
Zimbu said:
27. When engaged in technical troubleshooting, I should not recite the Death Star Trench run scene from Star Wars: A New Hope. ("Stay on target...") .


I wish I could say that to a couple of customers who call in for trouble shooting and they stray off in a whole different direction then what I was telling them.
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coldsteel

Feb 18, 2005, 6:21 PM
Someone's a Skippy fan...
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madchild

Feb 18, 2005, 11:42 PM
Hey if you're going to rip this list from someone give the person credit! I know the actual creator of this list I got a kick out of it when I saw it a while ago on a different site (convergysucks.com). At least give the actual creator the actual credit. I know you're not it as I know the person in question who originally posted it at the other site.
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Zimbu

Feb 18, 2005, 11:48 PM
madchild, i never did say this was of my own creative imagination, i do not know the name of the creator of this list as i have recieved this thru an email, i only created the thread on phone scoop, i to give my most sincere laughter to the creator of this list, and just felt that more reps should have read this list.
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Mercury

Feb 19, 2005, 12:49 AM
ohhh man this **** is frikken hillarious. spaz this is awsome man some of it were dum but they were pretty cool at the same time. btw u forgot to mention the S.O.L form in the work request.
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Jon_Webb

Feb 19, 2005, 2:56 AM
Heh. Well, I'm sort of flattered to see that this is getting around among the Convergys employee/refugee population. I'm not so much worried about people thinking that you wrote it, so much as I'd have concerns about folks thinking that I posted it here. Yeah, I might be a complete subversive, but it'd have been beyond my professional standards. For disgruntled Verge employees looking to vent about the ATTWS/Cingular project, I suggest the forums at Convergyssucks.com, where this piece originated. It keeps the customers out of the crossfire, and half the list is basically lost on non-Convergys people.

For those who don't know: Convergys is the outfit ATTWS used to outsource much of their customer service functions to, and most of the cent...
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coldsteel

Feb 21, 2005, 3:28 PM
Jon_Webb said:coldsteel: Hot damn! You win a prize (which would have been a replica LAV-25 carved entirely out of marbe cheese, but someone got hungry). No one on Convergyssucks.com seemed to recognize the reference (either that or they were too dignified to acknowledge that they knew it). For those who don't know what coldsteel was getting at, this is a Verge-oriented take on a rather infamous piece of military lore - The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the US Army. The list chronicles the exploits of one Army Specialist Schwartz during his army career (apparently highlighting his deployment to Bosnia-Herzegovina). I am a fan, and I think Spc Schwartz ranks as a truly unique sort of modern militar
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freeking_duck

Feb 20, 2005, 10:34 AM
I thought of something not added to the list her it goes

213.) If a customer expresses there disatisfaction using the phrase "well why don't you just ram a steel shaft up my rear end?!" I am not allowd to reply by saying "That'll be 10 dollars with a 3 year contract sir/mam".
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Zimbu

Feb 21, 2005, 4:26 AM
10.00/month, plus a 175 dollar etf if you dont like the way the shaft feels.... dont forget the 15.00 fee if ya wanna upgrade to cingulars pineapple "with rollover just incase you didnt use all your sodomy time last month"
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coldsteel

Feb 21, 2005, 3:23 PM
😳 🤣
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rep1of2000

Feb 21, 2005, 6:08 PM
lol that was hilaroius. i actually know some people who work at the chuck.... im a bit east of yall at the moment tho. but definitly considering a move to red deer. go flames go! if we ever get hockey again that is... 😕
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