The Subtle Stimulant Blues
So, being drawn towards unhealthy practices of status and apathy, I, long ago, decided to start smoking. And now, almost a decade later, I am now forced into a circumstance where I must quit. And I have to say about it:
%&*#@%&*%@*#&%#@!&%!@#!$%*&^@%$#*@&^$&@%&@$^%
(*&!^$#!)
*@#&%$@#*!&#*&@%$@*@&##@*&^#*@#&$@%*%$
Deespite the fact that I want to rip the testicles off the jerk next to me, my knees (!) are sweating, and I want to start telling customers that they have the cognitive abilities of my boot (the mud included), I think I'm taking it pretty well. I mean, armed with my gum and my mantra (smoking is bad, m'kay. Smoking is bad, m'kay....), I think I have a chance to ward off my supreme desire to freak out at every little distrac...
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%&*#@%&*%@*#&%#@!&%!@#!$%*&^@%$#*@&^$&@%&@$^%
(*&!^$#!)
*@#&%$@#*!&#*&@%$@*@&##@*&^#*@#&$@%*%$
Deespite the fact that I want to rip the testicles off the jerk next to me, my knees (!) are sweating, and I want to start telling customers that they have the cognitive abilities of my boot (the mud included), I think I'm taking it pretty well. I mean, armed with my gum and my mantra (smoking is bad, m'kay. Smoking is bad, m'kay....), I think I have a chance to ward off my supreme desire to freak out at every little distrac...
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😁 That sucks, buddy. I only smoke when I drink, but the habit already feels hard to break. I guess that says I drink a lot. you need a stress reliever with this job. try poking neetles vicously in a stress ball; it scares the people beside you!
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Adding sound effects, like an alley cat caught in a garbage compactor, each and every time a pin goes in.
Where's my cingular football....?
Where's my cingular football....?
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HAHAHAHHA 🤣 😁 I got my Cingular football taken away from me for throwing it in my cubicle. It was sad.
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haha...same to me. It was dead on the floor, we were throwing it the lenght of the aisle, and podium saw a "blunt" object sailing over the desks...just saw a hand reach out and caught it, knew we were busted...
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Well, I have 3. If either of you are in the Red Deer call center, I'll gladly donate them to a good cause such as tomfoolery, or even cuckoldery!
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I tried to stop smoking about two months ago and did fairly well I think. I lasted all the way to my first break about two hours into my shift. I firmly believe I could delve deep into my innermost being and retrieve that last thread of remaining willpower that would rid me of the parasitic relationship I've developed with my cancer sticks. The downside to that would be that I would no longer have that nagging feeling to stop me from telling a customer that it doesn't bother me in the least that he/she did not listen to any of the instructions provided and that I won't lose a wink of sleep over charging them 370.00 for the transceiver of a refurbished phone. (Yes, we do that.) This could, however, be a subconcious action. My body may be crav...
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😲
The mysterious correlation b/t death from smoking and convergys. I hardly doubted it, now I know.
(fist shaking in the air) CONVERGYYYYSSSSSS!!!
The mysterious correlation b/t death from smoking and convergys. I hardly doubted it, now I know.
(fist shaking in the air) CONVERGYYYYSSSSSS!!!
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I think I must avoid doing by habit those things that I did while smoking, also by habit. I have a nasty pension for getting up, and spending the next 2 hours on my porch, drinking coffee and slowly building up my blood nicotine level. Now, I have to drink coffee (if I even can!) in a compleely different setting. And don't even get me started on consumption adventures. Seriously, intoxicants are always best with a smoke. Always.
*sigh*
Ever met a former smoker? They hate smoking. More than anyone. This is important. I think I have to buy into a paradigm of absolute disgust whenever I think of, look at, or am reminded of smoking. If I trusted my willpower less, this scene would probably look like Clockwork Orange
*sigh*
Ever met a former smoker? They hate smoking. More than anyone. This is important. I think I have to buy into a paradigm of absolute disgust whenever I think of, look at, or am reminded of smoking. If I trusted my willpower less, this scene would probably look like Clockwork Orange
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My suggestion would be to purchase a straight-jacket, a padlock and a tasmanian devil. Now, what you are to do is put on the straight-jacket, have your closet associate lock you in a closet with the padlock for a week and release the devil into your house. Naturally the person in charge of keeping you in the closet will have to monitor your eating and natural waste release (for the squeamish). After the week is up, you are to be removed from the closet to observe the damage done by the devil. If, at that time, you don't need a cigarette then I'd say you've successfully kicked the habit. Or you could take the weakling's way out and use the patch or something safe like that.
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I have my gum. But I'm thinking bigger (not bigger, of course, than the elaborate and excellent marsupial mayhem misadventure, but..)...
I'm thinking.....coma. 3 weeks tops. That oughta purge the ol' meatbod of any extraneous desire.
I'm thinking.....coma. 3 weeks tops. That oughta purge the ol' meatbod of any extraneous desire.
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Nothing personal, I think you're actually one of the brighter people here, but I'll help you into that coma 😉 for a small fee. That is if you have an aluminum baseball bat, a Ouija borad, and the left leg of an anaconda.
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Hmmm......all out of anaconda leg....mmmm..nope. Will 2 kilometers of earthworm intestine be a servicable substitute? Otherwise, I'm just going to lay my head on a chair until one of our more *ahem* corpulent members sits down and I lose consciousness. I am sure the shock will send my conscious mind into a state of repression, negating any possibility for resuscitation (sp?). Horrible, yes, but maybe necesary.... 😛
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One aspect that I believe you've overlooked is that one your rotund colleagues may do more than send you into shock. There's always the possibility your head could erupt like one of those irritating pimples on the back of your neck, right 1stCanuck? (see the "Creeps, Wierdos, Perverts and Abusive Customers" thread for more details or just a good laugh) I can't imagine that would be entertaining in any way, shape, or form. Well, not for you anyway. Have a good evening bud, I'm gone for the night. [streaks off into the distance leaving behind a dirty trenchcoat and permanent mental duress]
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If it helps any (and it probably doesn't!) the actual physical dependence portion of nicotine addiction is over after about three days. Everything after that is just your head messin' with you. And are you gonna take that sh!te from your HEAD? Heck no, I say... 😎
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I wouldn't say it's my head that gives me problems, it's more the voices therein. They have this irritating habit of yelling at me and pounding these tiny hammers all over the inside of my cranium when I refuse their demands.
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They say that I should avoid doing those things that remind me of smoking, in order to alleviate the psycological portion of the withdrawal. Harumph! When I take a breath, I can feel the tightness of my chest, and for some kooky reason, it reassures me. So what? Do I give up coffee, beer, and breathing in the name of good health and fiscal freedom?
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Here goes!!!
🤭
😲
Damned if you do, damned if you don't, I guess!
*sigh*
🤭
😲
Damned if you do, damned if you don't, I guess!
*sigh*
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I've always been a firm believer that something has to kill me. At least by smoking I can give myself the false sense of security that I am in control of my cause of death. Aside from that, I'm a really nasty person if I haven't had a smoke in a while.
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I am also a student in the scool of thought that accepts the inevitable, but nevertheless, I want to RUN, to not feel hypoxic all day, and not to spend my paycheque on probably the most useless drug out there. Don't get me wrong, I love my subtle stimulants, and nicotine has a special place in my heart; however, being also of the school of thought that better living can be achieved by chemicals (kids, no. NO!), I can say I have never given so much for so little
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To be honest, I haven't noticed a decline in the length of time or how hard I can run. I've been a heavy smoker for about 7+ years and incredibly physically active for the duration. Being southern there's always something heavy that needs to be lifted or two pieces of really big metal that are in no way related that "hafta get welded right now" so they can sit in the backyard as another useless project.
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😁
HA HA HA HA HA!
That's hil-AR-ious!
"Quick, boy, git the welder, we gots a steel toe boot and a car frame to 'semble."
But I digress; I have a decade of apathy behind me. I am not a physically active person. I'm kind of a meditating academic. I pipefit in the summers, but that doesn't exercise my lung capacity as much as it exercises my potty-mouth. 😛
HA HA HA HA HA!
That's hil-AR-ious!
"Quick, boy, git the welder, we gots a steel toe boot and a car frame to 'semble."
But I digress; I have a decade of apathy behind me. I am not a physically active person. I'm kind of a meditating academic. I pipefit in the summers, but that doesn't exercise my lung capacity as much as it exercises my potty-mouth. 😛
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Not always true, I finally managed to quit smoking back in october of 2003, and I don't mind the smell of it.
Of course, the main reason why I quit that long was lack of funds... and to start off I had aquired a nasty flu that made it painfull to smoke, and then went off with the family to visit my asthmatic grandparents for a month...
Of course, the main reason why I quit that long was lack of funds... and to start off I had aquired a nasty flu that made it painfull to smoke, and then went off with the family to visit my asthmatic grandparents for a month...
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I believe that. It surely isn't universal, I don't think so much of my deductive abilities to say it as so, but am I not right? Are not most ex-smokers worse than non-smokers when it comes to complaining about the unappealing nature of smoking? Survey says?
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