This is a sad little story
of a man (or a woman, who knows in this place)
We will follow the tale of shame and disgrace
Of William Ignatius McGurky

Our hero (or heroine) is not chipper or perky'
More misanthropic, haughty, perverse
He worked up the nerve to apply at Convergys,
One William Ignatius McGurky

For five grueling weeks he endured apathy,
instructed with knowledge he'd surely forget.
Everyone thought it important, I'll bet
Except William Ignatius McGurky

Our young friend got out to the floor in glee
Finally, he said, I can do what I came for
But there was a special misery in store
For William Ignatius McGurky

Call after call, and his mind became murky
"How can these people be alive?" he asked,
"They cannot ...
(continues)