Dear AT&T,

In January I divorced you and married T-Mobile. Well married is the wrong word because I didn't sign a commitment with T-Mobile. So let's just say I shacked up with T-Mobile. Then, to save money, I came back to you. Well my dear, the shoddy service and call quality is just more than I can handle.

So I am divorcing you again, only this time, I am getting remarried to another carrier. So hasta la vista, baby!